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Curious About Emotion

curious

I am so fascinated by why emotions have such a low value in our culture. People are simply not aware of the power their emotions exert over their behavior. They do not investigate them. They are not curious about emotion. And Brené Brown’s research has shown that people who do investigate their emotions have learned to do so in one of three ways. How I wish they were as curious as this little boy staring at his fish!

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What’s Your Score?

trust

What’s your score? I mean, do you know your credit score? Equifax has certainly been in the news lately for their huge data breach. “There’s a good chance that you’re one of the 143 million American consumers whose sensitive personal information was exposed in a data breach at Equifax, one of the nation’s three major credit reporting agencies” according to the FTC (Federal Trade Commission). That is one whopping betrayal of trust of sensitive financial data. This got me thinking.

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Nine Things When Lonely

lonely

Being lonely is part of the human condition. We all succumb once in a while. Here are nine things when lonely you can do to change your mood. And remember, moods and feelings come and go. That is their nature. I would love your comments, and invite you to add the “tenth thing” to the list. You will have to read to idea #7 to understand the photo here!

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Hypnosis: No Conscious Control

hypnosis

I get a lot of requests for hypnosis, so today I want to share my personal philosophy about its therapeutic use. Generally, it is best used for an activity or thought you have no conscious control over. In other words, it just happens. Examples include cravings, insomnia, migraines, and panic. It has been used successfully in treating IBS, pain control, and  boosting the immune system during chemotherapy. I consider it to be one type of intervention best used in conjunction with an understanding of other emotional and behavioral issues you might be experiencing. Here is a picture of what it is not: a magic wand.

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Why Is Conflict Repair Easy, But Impossible?

conflict repair

When I talk about conflict repair with couples, the mechanics of it sound so easy (easy as pie-LOL) when I hear the words come out of my mouth, yet I know how impossible it is to do in the moment. Why is that?

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Why You Should Treat Your Partner Like A Child

communication

Ha! Bet you’re saying well that’s easy, since they act like one sometimes! But why you should treat your partner like a child has serious implications for building a better relationship with them. Sometimes communication patterns start that become detrimental. We forget how we came to be in a relationship with this person as we fall into our daily routines. By this, I mean we forget what drew us together in the first place. We go to work, schlep the kids around (if they are present), grocery shop, mop up the spills, do the laundry, take the dog to the vet, get the car inspected, pay the taxes, etc.  The requirements of daily life can feel like such a slog at times!

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Anxiety Triggers: Faster Than A Speeding Train

anxiety triggers

When clients tell me they are just anxious and don’t know why, especially when they awaken with a certain physical dread of the day, it is sometimes tough to help them understand that they have fallen into an anxiety habit. I’m not talking about PTSD or trauma induced anxiety, I am referring to a sort of low level thrum, almost like a slight electrical current that runs through their body, that can be easily heightened when a trigger occurs. Your mind takes you there faster than a speeding train! What kind of anxiety triggers you ask? Read more

How To Open The Door

criticism

Do you ever wonder why your arguments with your partner seem so circular? Like “Arrrggghhhh! We have had this discussion 10,000 times and it never turns out any different!” Would you like to learn how to open the door to peaceful resolution? It takes work to be present when you are angry or hurt, but wouldn’t you rather begin a conversation that opens communication rather than shutting it down with criticism?

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How Do You Hit The Target?

change

I was listening to a report on NPR news about street vendors in Los Angeles this morning. The city council recently voted unanimously to legalize this small business sector that has operated for years without licensing, receiving many fines, violations and sometimes more serious consequences like deportation. The street vendors themselves very much support having the change to operate as legitimate businesses, but an alternate opinion comes from restaurant and store owners who have retail storefronts. They explain that often the street vendors in front of their establishments charge much lower prices than they can afford to due to their obvious overhead expenses, and create physical and visual barriers in front of their storefronts.

Quite a conundrum. Read more

Spam!

spam

You’ve got mail! Yes, but it is really mail or is it spam? Let’s think about how you evaluate that for a minute.

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