How Do You Hit The Target?

change

I was listening to a report on NPR news about street vendors in Los Angeles this morning. The city council recently voted unanimously to legalize this small business sector that has operated for years without licensing, receiving many fines, violations and sometimes more serious consequences like deportation. The street vendors themselves very much support having the change to operate as legitimate businesses, but an alternate opinion comes from restaurant and store owners who have retail storefronts. They explain that often the street vendors in front of their establishments charge much lower prices than they can afford to due to their obvious overhead expenses, and create physical and visual barriers in front of their storefronts.

Quite a conundrum. Read more

Spam!

spam

You’ve got mail! Yes, but it is really mail or is it spam? Let’s think about how you evaluate that for a minute.

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Loneliness Is Bummer Topic

loneliness

Yes, loneliness is a bummer topic, and one of those that people respond to with the thought “NMP” (Not My Problem) and then change the channel. Yet it affects 25% of us in the USA, chronically.  With the chronic nature of it come a host of health issues that can increase the chance of early death by up to 26%, according to the guru on the topic, John Cacioppo, a professor and researcher on the issue for more than twenty years. Why is this so?

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Alone Together

loneliness

Did you know there is a difference between being alone and loneliness? Lots of people enjoy being alone and even need alone time to recharge their batteries. They don’t feel alone when they are by themselves engaged in an activity, from simply ‘being’ to being deeply engrossed in a hobby or pastime. They likely get into a kind of pleasant flow that makes the passage of time seem impossibly fast. The difference is that loneliness is a feeling, one of perception. You can feel lonely inside of a marriage or partnership, and you can feel lonely when surrounded by friends and acquaintances.

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Mild Or Hot Love?

mild or hot love

If you could order up your love the way you order up your favorite Thai dish, would you specify mild, medium or spicy-set-my-tongue-on-fire hot? Mild or hot love, spicy or not, movies, news, social media, literature and pop culture imbue the idea of love with extremes. The easy example is Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, where a couple of puppy love-sick kids are lead to die because of some warped parental loyalty values. Read more

Rumination and Trolls

rumination

Are you one? A super sensitive ruminator? A person who thinks deeply about things, maybe sometimes too much? Or perhaps you veer into the scarier territory of unwanted intrusive thoughts. These little torturers will keep you stuck for sure. The most ineffective action you can take is trying not to have your thoughts. My mantra to you is “Change your relationship with your thoughts and your beliefs about them.”

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Craving Certainty

craving certainty

Do you find yourself craving certainty? If this happens on a regular basis for you, here is one thing I know for sure. Craving certainty is a surefire recipe for anxiety. Craving certainty is the very definition of anxiety. Craving certainty creates the anxiety habit. And yes, it is a habit.

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Entangled Thoughts

entangled thoughts

Have you ever found yourself so wound up you simply cannot untangle what it is that is bothering you the most? Entangled thoughts make you feel like you can’t think clearly because you have an inner dialogue going on that you have created about some aggressive, relationship-ruining, sexual, logic-defying, bewildering, even violent content running through your mind. You may experience a healthy dose of guilt and shame alongside that content, because you wonder how on earth you can be a good or sane person and think this way.

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Anxiety Is A Paradox

anxiety is a paradox

Perhaps you have learned that no matter how hard you try, your anxious unwanted intrusive thoughts are not going away. That is because anxiety is a paradox, meaning the harder you try, the more persistent the thoughts become. You no doubt have heard the phrase “What you resist persists.”

That is how OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) thoughts operate.

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Anxious Thoughts Feel Sticky

anxious thoughts feel sticky

Ever unlocked your car in the parking lot of the grocery store with a big ole bag of groceries in your hand and looked down to find you just stepped in a wad of gum? Gum that has been baking on the asphalt to a nice stretchy glob of stickiness? Then you spend 10 minutes trying to get the mess off your shoe while the ice cream in your grocery bag slowly turns to mush. Maybe you succeeded in getting a bit off, but you also did an excellent job of spreading around what remained into an even wider area of that disgusting suction you now have with every step.

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