negative self talk Archives -

I Was Parked, And Panic Ensued

I was parked on the street in front of a cute little bungalow about to meet my real estate agent one fine summer afternoon. We were scouting out homes for a pending move my husband and I had decided to make in an effort to downsize. I was just swinging open the driver’s side car door when I saw a blue blur of a car race past me, ripping it right off the hinges as it went. Had I been swinging my legs to get out, they would have been gone too, along with the car door. Fortunately, that did not happen.

March 18, 2024/by Page Rutledge

Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Self Awareness

Why Do We Love Personality Tests?

Ahhhh. We do love a quiz that promises to reveal ourselves to our, well, ourselves. And big business loves to to see how well you might fit into their organizational team. That we love personality tests is the why that drives their proliferation. But I wonder if you might like to understand why many of them are junk, clickbait, and rather useless. And how to pick one that gives useful information about your personality. I am going to help you do that!

October 10, 2023/by Page Rutledge

Anxiety

The Worry Box Technique

The worry box technique is a simple skill used to help you manage when and how you worry. This sounds simplistic, and on its face it is. However, the results can truly help you place and pace worry better than simply allowing the random worries to crawl around in your head in the unending, unresolved circular pattern they tend to create.

May 31, 2023/by Page Rutledge

Anxiety

Why Bother Using Coping Skills?

Why Bother Using Coping Skills?

If you aren’t practicing coping skills you learn in therapy regularly while calm, there’s a good chance a skill such as deep belly breathing won’t be as effective as you’d like. When the nervous system dysregulates quickly to fight or flight, instantly really, that lets me know you may need to work on stretching the threshold for your fight or flight response, which requires practicing coping skills when calm.

May 31, 2023/by Page Rutledge

Anxiety

Your OCD Thoughts Are False Alarms, And You Have To Treat Them As Such

Your OCD thoughts (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) are false alarms, and you have to treat them as such. What research from Dr. Jeffrey M. Schwartz, UCLA School of Medicine shows: Bio-behavioral treatment works for retraining the brain that is stuck in OCD thought patterns. It’s not easy, but it is longer lasting and more permanently effective than relying on what he calls the “water wings” approach to treatment—that is meds only. There is no medication on the planet that will retrain your brain. Schwartz describes doing this training in the four steps below.

There is no medication on the planet that will retrain your brain.

September 28, 2022/by Page Rutledge

Anxiety

How Often Do You Dump Your Spam?

How often do you dump your spam? If I asked you how often you get spam, I bet there would be a different answer. I could go to my spam folder daily and see dozens of useless offers, from site SEO “experts” to weirdo names like “instrut” or “esiff”, and many foreign language offers to do who knows what. I don’t know, and I don’t care. I never look at the content.

Not looking at the content is a normal behavior for those who receive a lot of spam emails. But what about those of you who receive lots of unwanted spammy thoughts, intrusive thoughts that make you cringe, or ones where you genuinely fear that you might carry out some heinous deed? Frequent, frightening, obsessive, or disturbing thoughts are the hallmark of obsessive compulsive disorder of the thought variety, aka OCD. I’m going to name some frequent fliers that occur for people with OCD, and give examples, because so much shame permeates this disorder. It needs to be said out loud to remove the stigma. You are not alone. Good, kind people have these tormenting thoughts, and I want to help them, possibly you.

July 5, 2022/by Page Rutledge

Depression, Parenting, Women's Issues

I’m Sorry. Estrangement Is Heartbreaking.

I’m sorry. Estrangement is truly heartbreaking. The stories I hear on this topic are always heartbreaking, and include much ongoing, unresolved loss. The stories hold such longing for what could have been rich, healthy, and loving relationships. It happens between siblings, parents and children, and in-laws.

These are always stories about wretched boundaries and differing belief systems, from political parties to substance abuse, and to mental health disorders that disrupt even the possibility of “normal.”

The issues will often be generational as well, passed down in a chain that is among the hardest to break. I often tell clients that the very difficult work they are embarking on is heroic. It requires So. Much. Courage.

I’ll offer some examples of what this can look like.

March 3, 2022/by Page Rutledge

Anxiety

I Don’t Feel Like It!

Sooo many times, we need to complete a task, and the first thought is “I don’t feel like it!” Thinking in opposites is a strategy I want to offer you to challenge this thought. Here’s why.

January 5, 2022/by Page Rutledge

Anxiety

Why So Guilty?

Why so guilty? Or maybe I should ask ‘Why are you so afraid of being yourself?’

May 19, 2021/by Page Rutledge

Couples Counseling, Anxiety

Connection Or Protection? How Are You Wired?

Connection or protection? How are you wired? Did you know that love wires us for connection but trauma wires us for protection? Sometimes over-protection. Sometimes under-protection. Here’s how.

March 16, 2021/by Page Rutledge

Posts

Why Do We Love Personality Tests?

The Worry Box Technique

Why Bother Using Coping Skills?

Your OCD Thoughts Are False Alarms, And You Have To Treat Them As Such

How Often Do You Dump Your Spam?

I’m Sorry. Estrangement Is Heartbreaking.

I Don’t Feel Like It!

Connection Or Protection? How Are You Wired?

PAGE RUTLEDGE, LCSW, CHt | Couples Counseling