Recently I found myself in a discussion with a friend who has a background in psychology. She was arguing that past life events and troubles need to be “processed” and “worked through” in order to alleviate current problems. She felt that all past actions would dictate future actions, therefore to understand present problems, the past has to be fully explored. Interestingly, she expressed, with a deep, heaving sigh, that having to do so was a complete drag. She said if you were starting out with a new counselor, you had to “catch them up” with all of your past significant life events. She expressed how exhausting this can be.

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I am finding that people are slightly confused between the terms guilty and selfish. They will say “I feel so bad [guilty] for even being here and talking about my own needs,” when they have constant anxiety humming in the background. And they will compare their needs to something such as a friend suffering from cancer as if their feelings do not matter, even though the situations are different, and they obviously had no part in causing the others heartache.

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