So I got to feeling kind of blue today because I wasn’t feeling any sense of accomplishment. Then I got busy with a bunch of mundane stuff that had to get done: a bill to pay on line, a recommendation for a student, and an email I needed to send in response to a query from a company asking about my satisfaction. Normally I don’t respond to such queries, but this particular company did a really good job for me on an auto collision repair, so I filled out their survey.
Recently I found myself in a discussion with a friend who has a background in psychology. She was arguing that past life events and troubles need to be “processed” and “worked through” in order to alleviate current problems. She felt that all past actions would dictate future actions, therefore to understand present problems, the past has to be fully explored. Interestingly, she expressed, with a deep, heaving sigh, that having to do so was a complete drag. She said if you were starting out with a new counselor, you had to “catch them up” with all of your past significant life events. She expressed how exhausting this can be.
I don’t know. No tin foil hat? You don’t live in LA? You wear matching socks? Most of the time? Maybe you can define normal. It’s really tough, but I’ll give it a try.
What is the key to choosing the right therapist for yourself?
You know, therapy is not for everyone.
Sometimes a walk with a trusted confidant, or dinner with our friends is just what we need. But if you have an ongoing issue that you have struggled with and it is affecting your daily life, your relationships, or your ability to work, therapy or counseling can be the best investment you will ever make in yourself.
When you find yourself swirling down the toilet of negativity, catastrophizing the possible, future, maybe, might, what if, not-yet-taken-place event that is lodged in your prefrontal cortex, try this.
I am finding that people are slightly confused between the terms guilty and selfish. They will say “I feel so bad [guilty] for even being here and talking about my own needs,” when they have constant anxiety humming in the background. And they will compare their needs to something such as a friend suffering from cancer as if their feelings do not matter, even though the situations are different, and they obviously had no part in causing the others heartache.
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. When we get overwhelmed it is typically due to the feeling that too much is going on, but it can also be eustress, stress caused by good things happening.
Reframing is a very popular idea that is used in everything from fairytales to commercials. Recall that the ugly duckling realized in the end that he was actually quite a beautiful swan.
Since I’m feeling self doubt….
I thought I’d explore it again since it crops up from time to time for everyone.
I was struck by a quote I saw by philosopher Eric Hoffer in the Boston Globe: “The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life.”
PAGE RUTLEDGE, LCSW, CHt | Anxiety Therapy
5006 Randall Parkway (close to UNCW)
Wilmington, NC 28403
Free parking at office