I HELP COUPLES WITH ANXIOUS PARTNERS LEARN TO COPE.
TYPICALLY, ONE PARTNER IS EXHAUSTED.
When one partner has super high anxiety, the other often finds themselves emotionally exhausted. The spotlight of need and reassurance is relentlessly shining on them. But it’s often tough to recognize entrenched behavior patterns and poor communication habits. In this scenario, typically one partner is feeling like his/her needs are not being met, and they blame the other. This leaves one person in an angry demand mode, and the other in a steady, self-protective retreat.
Helping you figure out better ways to communicate is what I do best. I’m not a magician, but I can help you achieve more awareness of the ways you continue to torpedo the connection with your partner. I use the Gottman method which focuses on communication patterns and teaches awareness and alternative ways to be heard and understood. This tried and true approach is based on 40 years of observations gathered by John Gottman and his wife Julie. They watched real couples in distress and analyzed their disruptive communication patterns, but then took it one step further. They developed effective ways to change the negative patterns.
WHAT KEEPS YOU STUCK IN THESE PATTERNS?
It is often shame. Shame comes from our history: our family stories, our bodies, lost careers, or inherited traits that we have no control over, addictions, and from affairs, both the emotional and physical type. Do you want to repair the most important relationship in your life? Or perhaps figure out if divorce is a better option? If so, give me a call, or shoot me an email. If you’re not sure, head over to my awesome BLOG and poke around the couple’s section.
P.S. Want to know why men often dread couples counseling?
Because they are forced to face the sense of failure they may feel (which equates to more shame) around whatever is occurring for them. After all, who wants to be put on a spit and roasted over an open flame? Frankly, this is where the real courage comes in: taking ownership of your piece of the problem.