I HELP COUPLES IN CONFLICT GET UNSTUCK.
Culturally, we are taught to be critical—to scan our environment for flaws and errors, to assign blame, and to exercise “critical thinking.” We look outward because we are connected to the world with our eyes and ears. But criticism, when directed at your partner, will strain love over time.
I’m a research nerd who believes we are best guided by facts coupled with the unique experience of our own lives. In a couples counseling session, I’ll spend time learning about your challenges, and help you increase your awareness of the destructive patterns you repeat. I have been successful at helping couples where one partner has higher anxiety than the other, as well as those who feel they have drifted apart, particularly when adult children are grown and gone from the home.
Change is hard in today’s world but doing nothing will get you exactly what you’ve always gotten.
WHAT KEEPS YOU STUCK IN THESE PATTERNS?
I find that couples often need to improve their emotional literacy. In other words, they don’t do well with expressing exactly what they need from their partners. If you are stuck in the same old non-communication patterns, then maybe it’s time to ditch the excuses and get started on meeting your goals.
It’s not about being right. It’s about finding meaning in your relationship and understanding how you are better together, or perhaps finding a civil path to separation.
If you are in the tough place of not knowing whether your problems as a couple are even solvable, through a calm process of couples counseling, I can help with that, too.