Frequently Asked Questions
What issues do couples commonly come to couples therapy for?
Couples seek therapy for communication problems, frequent conflict, emotional disconnection, trust issues (including infidelity), parenting stress, life transitions, and differences in emotional needs or communication styles. Many couples also seek therapy when one or both partners are neurodivergent and struggling to feel understood.
What if one partner is more motivated than the other?
Couples therapy does not require equal motivation at the start. Often one partner feels more urgency while the other feels unsure or overwhelmed. Therapy focuses on reducing defensiveness and building understanding, which often increases motivation over time.
How long does couples therapy usually take?
The length of couples therapy varies based on goals and complexity. Some couples seek short-term support, while others benefit from longer-term work. Many couples begin to experience meaningful and lasting change after about 12 sessions.
Does couples therapy work?
Couples therapy is effective when the approach fits the couple. I am Gottman-trained, and Gottman-based therapy can help many couples. However, traditional models—including Gottman—do not always fit neurodivergent couples, who often need more explicit structure and adapted approaches.
Do you offer online couples therapy?
Yes. I offer secure online couples therapy sessions. Virtual therapy provides flexibility and can reduce sensory or logistical stress, especially for neurodivergent clients.
Neurodivergent Couples Therapy vs Traditional Couples Therapy
Neurodivergent couples therapy differs from traditional couples therapy in important ways. Many standard models, including Gottman-based approaches, assume shared emotional processing styles, implicit communication, and similar nervous system responses. These assumptions do not always hold true for neurodivergent couples.
In neurodivergent relationships, partners may:
• Process emotions and conflict at different speeds
• Communicate more literally or require explicit clarification
• Experience sensory overload or shutdown during emotionally intense discussions
While I am Gottman-trained, I adapt traditional methods when working with neurodivergent couples. Therapy becomes more structured, explicit, and flexible, with an emphasis on reducing misunderstanding rather than assigning intent. The goal is mutual understanding, emotional safety, and practical tools that work in real life.
Can couples therapy help when one partner is neurodivergent and the other is not?
Yes. Many couples are neurodivergent–neurotypical partnerships. Therapy helps partners understand each other’s communication styles, reduce frustration, and create systems that support both partners’ needs without trying to change either person.
What if couples therapy hasn’t worked for us before?
Sessions are structured and collaborative, with the couple helping to define their goals. Therapy focuses on identifying patterns, practicing communication skills, repairing after conflict, and building tools couples can use outside of sessions. When couples therapy has failed previously, re-assessing goals and employing different tools can make a difference.
How do I get started with couples counseling?
To get started, contact me through my website to schedule an initial consultation. We’ll discuss your goals and determine whether this approach is a good fit for your relationship.