Entries by Page Rutledge

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Get Some Awe

PSA: Get some awe. Go out and get yourself to a place where you can easily feel your insignificance. A place in nature where you can look up, down and all around, and breathe in the idea that all of the anxiety, the worry, the daily grind, don’t matter. At least not in that moment.

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Why Hypnosis Works

Why hypnosis works is all about the mystery that surrounds it. And I happen to think the “mystery” is a good thing. Here’s why. Everyone has a belief system, without fail. And everyone learns. And we all learn a little differently–except for one thing. And that one thing is essential for optimal learning. In order […]

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Coming Clean on the Couch

Coming clean on the couch isn’t easy. And what do I mean by that? This is a post about self deception and how it stops you cold from achieving your best self. Self deception exists in many forms. We tell ourselves it won’t matter if we just have this extra helping of mashed potatoes or […]

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Is It Oz?

Lately the world is abuzz with talk of narcissism. Politics aside, sometimes I see this in the therapy room. It is more subtle than you might expect. These behaviors are not as black and white as this yin/yang symbol. Indeed, this set of emotional behaviors is more like 50 shades of gray! Why? Because it […]

How Do You Trust?

Most people don’t know the answer to “How do you trust?” Last week’s post offered the definitions of betrayal and trust, and many ideas about the ways we betray others. It goes beyond simply having affairs. If you missed it you can read it here. It is a nice basis for this week’s Part II […]

Evaluating Betrayal

How do you go about evaluating betrayal? First you might want to understand what it really means.  It is a major betrayal when someone does something that breaks a fundamental promise or violates a fundamental expectation and does so in a way that significantly hurts your peace of mind.–Mira Kirshenbaum* And, an affair is not […]

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Can’t. Think. Clearly.

Hello everyone! This post is a Part II to last week’s, which you can read here if you missed it. What happens when you are fighting with your lover and you get either so hurt, or so angry, that you can’t think clearly? Research by Jaak Panksepp of Washington State University demonstrates that mammals develop […]

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Anxiety and Love

Anxiety and love are connected. Logic, as we think of it in the Western sense, is often prized above love, when love is thought of as an emotion that lacks intellect. Yet love, which is comprised of all six innate identified emotions (recognized and verified via social science the world over): fear, anger, happiness, sadness, […]

Gentle Start Ups

Perpetual issues permeate every relationship. A perpetual issue is essentially an unresolvable problem, kind of like having a bad back when you age. We learn to live with chronic conditions like this and to make the best of things in spite of them. BTW, did you realize that marriage allows you to have the special […]

Life’s too short to be subtle!

How many times have you obsessed over how to say just the right thing in just the right way so as not to offend someone you care about? Or perhaps tried to say something in a way that would not upset or offend your boss or coworker? Knowing what you need and saying it without […]