What is flooding? What do I mean by a simple approach to ease flooding? And of course I am not talking about Katrina-type flooding, although the feeling is just as overwhelming as it was to the residents of New Orleans.
One thing that bothers me about therapy and self-help books is their focus on nice, tidy stories and methods that neatly tie up experiences and outcomes. Cue music! Cue lights! It is as if the authors are saying, if you follow my step by step program, you will be cured! They might as well put a cherry on top.
If you experience anxiety choosing therapy, whether or not it is individual therapy vs couples therapy to repair your relationship, this post has some good criteria to consider. Often both are warranted, but thinking about it with these areas in mind is a good place to start. Read more
Harry Harlow was the first to do groundbreaking research using rhesus monkeys to demonstrate the profound impact mother attachment had on the normal growth and maturation of the baby monkeys in his experiments. It showed that even when the monkeys were repeatedly rejected by painful mother “dolls”, they would return seeking connection even though the source (the doll) was woefully lacking in the same.
In order to answer this question about the one thing couples do not realize when they are fighting, a little background is helpful. Science from all sorts of fields tell us that loneliness raises our blood pressure and can increase the risk of heart disease, even stroke, by double.
I just finished an interesting book about reading body language written by Joe Navarro, an ex-FBI agent:
What Every Body Is Saying, 2008, Harper by Joe Navarro and Marvin Karlins, PhD
What interested me the most was the author’s scientific comparisons and parallels to the limbic system as the primary generator of physical behaviors by our bodies that are largely unconscious.
If the term codependency sits among the self help genre continually baiting us to believe we all have some form of it, perhaps there are at least a few takeaways we can put to use.
Codependency originated around the early 80’s to help families with alcohol and drug problems. It stemmed from the idea that the whole family system needs to be addressed to achieve recovery, and that certain family members may be hindering the process by enabling the substance abuser. The word and the concept are still wildly popular today, and hundreds of self help books exist to serve you.
How do you go about getting what you want and need from a relationship?
By stating what you need, not what you think the other person must change or do.
When you first get married, the transition can sometimes be a little rough, but you can begin to smooth it out by creating your own style of marriage, one that has its own identity and meaning.
PAGE RUTLEDGE, LCSW, CHt | Anxiety Therapy
5006 Randall Parkway (close to UNCW)
Wilmington, NC 28403
Free parking at office