As therapist, here are six things I want you to know. Some could be considered general life truisms, but they are also things that will help you progress more quickly if you choose to enter therapy.
The Six Things
- As a therapist, I am not here to judge you or condemn you. I am a change agent. I think you can improve your life and I am on your team when it comes to that goal. You can and do change your mind all of the time, whether it is for good, bad or somewhere in between.
- Most people are simply stuck. Some good majority of the time, the stuck feeling comes from old dysfunctional patterns (habits) or belief systems learned early in life from families, parents, siblings, situations, or events. The programming we undergo in our families of origin, or our immediate family growing up, is incredibly efficient, and this can make it difficult to ‘re-program’, but it is entirely possible.
- There is not one best form of therapy. In fact there are over 156 types, so therapy is definitely not a one-size-fits-all proposition. It is the client-counselor relationship that is the single most significant factor in successful, long lasting therapeutic change. That is why mutual rapport and respect is paramount in your healing. And each person is like a puzzle. I may have heard a similar problem, but your circumstances and the way you came to this moment are entirely unique.
- No one made you do anything. The choices you have made in life are made by you. These choices have consequences. Being aware of the consequences you either forecast (perhaps due to your anxious anticipation), or actually experience, is the best teacher. BTW, allowing (safe) consequences to occur works especially well when teaching/raising children.
- I work for you, but that does not mean I will work harder than you in order to accomplish your goals. If in fact, if I am working harder than you, something is wrong.
- Having the realization that your anxiety or depression comes from inside of you is a tough nut to crack. We often want to believe it is caused externally. Please don’t confuse this with my ignoring terrible circumstances, biology, or external events, but the fear we often feel surrounds our sense of unworthiness. Are we are truly as worthless, helpless, and unlovable as we believe? I already know that is what you think. I am here to help you find a way out of that crippling belief.
Anxiety is an inside job. — Page Rutledge, LCSW
One Other Piece Of The Puzzle
There is one other piece of this therapy puzzle that is sometimes missing. It is this: you may not have had someone to work out some of the negative beliefs, or possibly the long history of self-protective/avoidant behaviors that keep you hyper-vigilant. My job is to provide a safe place and a caring relationship where you have an opportunity to do this.
It is my hope in this work that a part of me goes with you, and it is my truth that I carry a part of you with me. We change each other in this work. That is why it is so important to take the time to develop a trusting relationship where you may not have had one before.
If you are ready, come on in. I’m here, waiting. You can message me here.
P.S. You can also schedule online by scrolling to the bottom on the homepage and pressing the blue button. Select new client if it is your first time. Existing clients may simply select “existing.”