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Estrangement is heartbreaking.

I’m sorry. Estrangement is truly heartbreaking. The stories I hear on this topic are always heartbreaking, and include much ongoing, unresolved loss. The stories hold such longing for what could have been rich, healthy, and loving relationships. It happens between siblings, parents and children, and in-laws. 

These are always stories about wretched boundaries and differing belief systems, from political parties to substance abuse, and to mental health disorders that disrupt even the possibility of “normal.”

The issues will often be generational as well, passed down in a chain that is among the hardest to break. I often tell clients that the very difficult work they are embarking on is heroic. It requires So. Much. Courage.

I’ll offer some examples of what this can look like. 

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Rumi mom and me

Every midwife knows
that not until a mother’s womb
softens from the pain of labor
will a way unfold
and the infant find that opening to be born.
Oh friend!
There is treasure in your heart,it is heavy with child.
Listen.
All the awakened ones,
like trusted midwives are saying,
‘welcome this pain.
It opens the dark passage of Grace.
–Rumi

As I reflect back on my wonderful visit with my mother this weekend, I am so grateful she is still here with me. Peace to all those who may be missing theirs. Take heart in her heritage–you.

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