My mother died last June, and her name was June. This is my first Mother’s Day Grief without her in the world. The picture you see (scroll down if her head is chopped off; my lack of technical prowess is showing) shows her in her prime doing what she did best: organizing several hundred Pixy Pin-Up children’s photographers and their schedules all over the United States, BEFORE there was such a thing as spread sheets, google, or online flight reservations. She had this great big board in her office with constantly changing slips of paper and schedules representing each photographer. The schedules all changed weekly, too. I always thought my mom was born in the wrong era. She would have made an incredible chief of operations and logistics. She majored in home economics, because that was really about the only option there was when she attended college. On this Mother’s Day, consider what your relationship is or was with your mother, and plan your day accordingly.
Your children are like so much wet cement according to Time Magazine, in that they are impressionable at an early age. Your words and actions make impressions that will ‘harden’ over time and guide their sense of identity. A large portion of our job as parents is to guide, shape and correct them. When shaping behaviors, it is important to guard how much you criticize vs praise those you love. The same thing applies to your partner. Is complaining your habit? So what is the magic ratio?
How Do You Cope With Losing the Relationship You Once Had With an Adult Child?
Wow, this is a tough one. A situation that is full of blame, grief, and having all of your defense mechanisms triggered. How on earth do you cope with losing the once close relationship with a child you nurtured, raised, and cared for with all of your heart, soul and mind?
Your children are like so much wet cement according to Time Magazine, in that they are impressionable at an early age. Your words and actions make impressions that will ‘harden’ over time and guide their sense of identity. A large portion of our job as parents is to guide, correct and discipline them. While this is all true, it is important to guard how much you discipline (or criticize) in the guise of discipline and how much you praise.
I was on the beach observing a little boy about 4 years old who was full of energy as he raced back and forth busily building what he called a swimming pool. it was both fascinating and uplifting to watch the two adults involved with him, whom I assumed were his parents. They were 100% engaged in play with him while also teasing and flirting with each other. They felt like a unit.
In my last post, I introduced the idea of making a small change in a behavior pattern in order to achieve a new, more positive outcome.
If you are trying to actively listen, that is okay. But to really hear someone, you must be truly curious about what they have to say.
PAGE RUTLEDGE, LCSW, CHt | Anxiety Therapy
5006 Randall Parkway (close to UNCW)
Wilmington, NC 28403
Free parking at office