My mother died last June, and her name was June. This is my first Mother’s Day Grief without her in the world. The picture you see (scroll down if her head is chopped off; my lack of technical prowess is showing) shows her in her prime doing what she did best: organizing several hundred Pixy Pin-Up children’s photographers and their schedules all over the United States, BEFORE there was such a thing as spread sheets, google, or online flight reservations. She had this great big board in her office with constantly changing slips of paper and schedules representing each photographer. The schedules all changed weekly, too. I always thought my mom was born in the wrong era. She would have made an incredible chief of operations and logistics. She majored in home economics, because that was really about the only option there was when she attended college. On this Mother’s Day, consider what your relationship is or was with your mother, and plan your day accordingly.
A lot of people will grieve their mothers this year, and even more will worry about the impact of living with COVID19 and its potentially severe effects on seniors, in other words, their mothers. Some will never get to see their mothers again, and for this I am truly sorry. If you do have this privilege, and the relationship warrants it, share your love while you can. Don’t let the unspoken become a regret.
I am sharing here a variety of tips from a wonderful site called www.whatsyourgrief.com. They have a podcast as well. There are categories in this 2018 blog post they published called “Mother’s Day Grief: Life without a mother’s love” with suggestions on how to manage your grief, if that is what you feel, depending on what your relationship is or was with your mother. This relationship can look many different ways, ranging from total estrangement to terribly enmeshed (codependent). A healthy relationship is one that has loving respectful boundaries, and is filled with happy memories and lasting values.
Since Mother’s Day can be pretty painful for some, with this big cauldron of emotions ranging from longing, yearning, sadness, loneliness, depression, anger, bitterness, alienation, to despair, the way you may wish to spend your day might vary. Click on the resources link below for more details, suggestions, and the entire post. These are the categories they suggest for planning.
- If you decide to lay low
- If you want to focus on your loved ones
- If you want to spend time with your mother’s memory
I hope your day provides the kind of reflection or togetherness you need. Be easy with yourself if it is painful. And revel in gratitude if all is well.
Happy Mother’s Day 2020.
If you need help with your grief, or with how to create a healthier relationship, call me or contact me here. Currently I am offering safe, no-contact tele-health sessions. There is a lot of information about how to get started on my site, and truly, it’s not difficult. So don’t needlessly suffer. I’m here to help.